Being me

I suffer from an ailment called “L'esprit de l'escalier” .

I know one other person who also has this issue - a character infact – Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan in ‘Youv’e got Mail’)

L'esprit de l'escalier (or l'esprit d'escalier, usually translated as "staircase wit") is the act of thinking of a clever comeback when it is too late to deliver it. The phrase can be used to describe a riposte to an insult or any witty remark that comes to mind too late to be useful, after one has left the scene of the encounter. The phenomenon is usually accompanied by a feeling of regret at not having thought of the retort when it was most needed or suitable.

(Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

Many a times I am tongue tied and will not be able to say what should have been said, but later when I think about the situation, I can picture myself saying that and walking away in slow motion with an atrocious background music. But alas, time machine is still a dream.

I wish I had said ‘Go to Hell” many a time

I wish I had said ‘No’, when I actually just smiled

I wish I had said ‘That’s not a god idea. How about this?”, when I actually said “That’s nice”

Wish I had met a Joe Fox (Tom Hanks of You've got Mail again)

I envy people who say what needs to be said at the right moment, and walk away with a smile. They have an impeccable presence of mind, and not carried away by emotions or random thoughts.

But once I tried.

I spoke out at the right moment.

I thought that will be the suitable reply.

I thought after that I will walk away with a victorious smile on my face.

But no. Nothing happened.

I felt all the more worse.

I spend the entire night tossing and turning cursing myself for having said that.

I repented.

I still do.

I will never be the same person in front of that other person again.

I felt terrible.

If you are of the kind who thinks giving a suitable reply not caring about the other person’s emotion, so be it. Or if you are like me, so be it.

The point is to be yourself.

Do not imitate, because if you do, you’ll end up acting stupid and won’t be able to sleep.

I have accepted that “L'esprit de l'escalier” is a part of my personality. I won’t feel bad anymore. I am me.

Peace be with me. Hallelujah!

Why grow up?

Me and a kid of about 4 years old got into a conversation

Me : What did you have for lunch today?

Kid : Nothing yet

Me : Why not?

Kid : Today we will all eat from the temple. There is annadaanam

Me : Oh is it? So what are you going to eat at the temple today?

Kid : Parotta and Chicken curry

Me : K

Trip to the past

Was away from the cloud for few days as I and family went for a trip to Thanjavur. Two years back, when I had just brought home the second hand car and when I could barely shift to the 4^th gear, if someone would have asked me to drive my car for more than 50 km, I would have dropped dead on the spot, but not any more. My confidence grew manifold when I covered about 500 km in less than 8 hours.  Yeah I know it is not a big deal, but for the fact that this is my first long trip in my 2005 model Alto LX, I feel happy.

Thanks to NHAI and Tamil Nadu Govt.for the excellent roads from the Aralvaymozhi – Trichy stretch. Made me wonder if it was really Indian roads – no potholes, no pits. For the major portion of the trip, I couldn’t drive under 90 kmph. It would be a crime to do so. My only fear was that the chassis of the car would fly off, unable to resist the speed. Wow! That was an experience, and driving long distances boosts your confidence.

 

[Image : http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/tamil-nadu/article42611.ece]

Big temple, Thanjavur was a long awaited destination. We wanted to visit the temple and it was in our ‘To Visit’ list for few years now (since our courtship days ;-) ). Having seen a lot of pictures and read about the history, surprisingly standing right at the front of the temple did not evoke any emotions. It was perhaps because of the crowd. Few schools also chose the same day to visit and the entire place was buzzing with lot of children in various uniforms. But the time we chose to visit was just perfect. It was evening and the natural backdrop was excellent. What caught my attention was the 1000 (?) shivalingas sculptured around the main temple, of which no two of them are identical in size, shape or dimensions.

Well maintained premises, except for the roads in the Thanjavur town. Very narrow, congested and illogically controlled traffic adds to the chaos.

I wonder why do some temples (and churches) gets prominence compared to others. Is it due to clever marketing? Or the age old beliefs? Can't quite comprehend.

I also wonder there is a temple very much similar to that of Padmanabha Swamy Temple in Trivandrum,. The temple which I refer to is located at Thiruvattar, a small sleepy village in Kanyakumari District, Tamil Nadu. I have been there couple of times and the maintenance is pathetic, mainly because they do not have the funds to maintain. If I am not wrong, the temple at Thiruvattar was also built by Marthanda Varma.

May be temples are also just like humans. Some prosper, some wither. Sigh!

SOS

Honestly, I thought I was the only visitor to my blog and refused to open it for long. Today morning I was beaming with joy that some good souls have taken time to comment on my posts. Thank you.

But however, I might need some help here please. I am not sure how do I reply to your comments. I just get a static link which reads “Post Comments”. But it is inactive. Could any of the seasoned bloggers please let me know how do I enable it. What an irony, I don’t know how my blog works. Sigh!. Well, after all I am an engineer by education, you know ;-)
 Can’t believe I am this much technically challenged.

Update : RGB helped me enable comment. Thank you RGB.

Enjoying HR? Oxymoron (?)

“Oh! So you’re in HR. Enjoying huh? No work to do right?”

Asked my cousin, when we recently met at Bommanahalli to board the bus to Trivandrum. I tried to educate him “No No, we have lots of work to do..from manpower planning, to designing training programmes to statutory compliance to co-ordinating performance discussions to aligning salary to event management”. He wasn't convinced
“Ok, but still you don’t have any deadlines to meet like us right? Ha ha... You people are enjoying..” “No”, I interrupted him “We have SLAs and deadlines to be met as well. We are accountable for company operations..”
I could see him smirk.. and could read his mind
“Hmm.. whatever it is, you guys are a lousy lot. It is afterall we the software engineers who bring in money for the company to sustain. If it were not for us, you would have been jobless”

I am sure anyone in HR line of profession might have encountered the above situation atleast once. HR function is like a swan in the lake. It looks like the swan is floating, enjoying the surroundings and relaxing, but underneath it keeps on struggling with its leg to keep it moving forward. A home maker to a home is what HR to an organization. Ask the home maker not to do her job for a day and by the end of the day you will get to know her importance.


HR job is more like a double edged sword. We need to please both the management and employees. I faced it when my previous company announced a pay cut during difficult times (Although it was not called ‘pay-cut’, but 'salary restructuring'). On one hand we ourselves had to suffer the cut in our pay and on the other we had to explain to the grieving employees on the justification regarding the pay cut.

Ha, it takes a bold heart to be in HR and sustain.

I still meet my other cousins who are also in some software firm or the other. Perceptions are etched and can hardly be alterd. So I just let it be and have some fun in the process.. When they make fun of HR , I tell them back. ‘Shh.. quiet please. Let it be between you and me. It is true that we don’t do any work. Come in the morning, swipe the card, visit blogs, read newspapers, sip coffee, get into the chat messengers, walk around, meet other fellow HRs who are equally jobless, discuss about the latest movie, send some absurd mails and forwards and swipe out on the dot. Phew man. Pray to God that you be an HR in the next birth. We are blessed souls.”

I feel some sadistic pleasure when I say that.

The questions still vibrates.."You guys just don’t have any work to do and enjoy right?”

No work to do ? – NO , a big bold, underlined, italicized ‘No’. We have a lot of work to do my boy. That too not dealing with the deadwood computer and codes but human beings with flesh and blood. And brains. People like you. Right from the top of the organization chart to the housekeeping boy.


Enjoy? – Yes, a big bold underlined, italicized ‘YES’.

To be significant over successful

Chasing materials here I came
To this big place which made me discover
The unsatisfied fellows who worship
Those materials which they don’t need

I came running to this place
In search of treasure and wealth
Which would add some more glow
To my life; I was wrong

But I don't hate me for coming this far
To realize some more is no more
And that any more wealth I add,
will not be seeking the real pleasure

I now face a big white wall
The end of which I have no clue
But I drew my dream on it
The dream is not to draw my dreams

The dream is to live my dreams
And be significant; not successful
So I made up my mind
To take a leap across the wall

While I move back to gather the pace
And energy to cross the wall
Thoughts keep rushing and gushing to me
Making unseen dreams, uncertain

But fear I not, for I take a leap and I know
If there’s a river, I’ll also have my boat
If there’s a desert, I’ll also have my camel
If there’s a forest, I’ll also have my jeep

Gather courage, Jump over. NOW !!

Bulleting 'Elsamma'

• Mathrubhumi fits itself in almost all the frames – as newspaper, or calendar or even as a pillow cover
• Wondering what attracts Lal Jose to a human posterior! Since ‘Meesamadhavan’ he has this obsessive compulsion for bums; he has carried it to this movie as well – the mentioning of human geographic rear in multiple scenes.
• The scene on ‘Suresh’ is a flawed attempt of comedy and was an obvious one. Evokes no laughter. Felt like added later in the movie, as an afterthought.
• Jagathy Sreekumar fails to amuse audience, however Suraj Venjaramood is here to stay in the comedy track.
• ‘Elsamma the Saviour’ or ‘St. Elsamma’ could have been a better title, cos all what she does is for the overall wellbeing of the society. Elsamma is highly over rated.
• No songs are worthy for a second listening.
• Camera, cast and costumes are excellent.
• Ann does a good job and Kunchakko is amazing. Indrajith plays his role with ease. Not to mention KPAC Lalitha and Nedumudi Venu.
• Vijayaraghavan can be compared with ‘Ananthan Nambiar’ in Nadodikattu. A comical villain.
• Overall had a feeling of reading Balarama, which as such is good, but childish attempt by Lal Jose.

Just a mention about the theatre I watched the moview from. It was Screen 3 of Innovative Multiplex in Bangalore. This was the first time I watch in a multiplex (Ticket Cost Rs 150 for Silver class!). Believe me Kairali/Sree in Trivandrum does much better a job. The sound went off twice during the movie. The screen was smaller than the normal theatre. No refreshments. The show was at 7.30 pm and security guard wouldn't let us in until 7.45 pm. Duh!

Pray these multiplexes doesn't get popular in Kerala.