Monday, November 29, 2010

I am scared

(Just thinking aloud)

I am scared when everything falls in place


I am scared when there is no confusion

I am scared when I suddenly discover an important document which I have been searching for over 3 years

I am scared when I find out my almost-lost debit card

I am scared when I get all what I was looking for

I am scared when I unexpectedly receive some expensive gifts

Everything seems so perfect.

I am scared.

I am scared that after perfection comes chaos

So is the law of nature, I presume.

I am scared something is cooking, and would blow up at the wrong time

Let there be some imperfections, so that there is a balance.

I don’t want a full meal every day, every time

I would prefer to sleep hungry once in a while.

But sleep, I must.

Sleep peacefully.

I am scared.

I am scared of perfections.

2 comments:

Balachandran V said...

Perrrfffect!!! You not only get scared but you also feel guilty. You not only look behind you but you mumble thanks to the unseen benefector/s!

The trick to accept fortunes and misfortunes with equanimity!!

Fear comes from attachment. Remember Bhagavad Gita?
Dhyayate vishayan pumsa
Sangasthesh upajayate
Sangat samjayate Kama
Kamaat krodhbijayate
(verse 62, Chapter II)

Brooding on the object of senses man develops attachment to them; from attachment comes desire; from desire springs forth anger.

Why are you scared when everything is so perfect? Because you are attached to them, you are afraid of losing them. If you do not own, what is there to lose?

Excellent poem. Excellent attempt to understand oneself.

sreejith thampi said...

Thanks, although I hardly think that is a poem.
Yes. I am attached to them. I am afraid of losing them. May be I am facing a fraction of that confusion faced by Arjunan.
That was a very cleansing comment. Thanks again.